FAQ About Zombies
Q: What is a Zombie?
A: Zombies are re-animated deceased humans, animals, etc. The re-animation is caused by a mutagenic compound which enters the deceased organism, revitalizes its nervous/cardiovascular system, and brings them "back to life".
Q: Are Zombies dangerous?
A: Much like humans and vampires, not all Zombies are dangerous. In fact, a recent census reported that only 45% of Zombies in the nation are considered hostile (a solid 15% down since 2009). Most Zombies can peacefully co-exist with humans and maintain healthy lifestyles.
Q: Will Zombies ignore me if I dress up like one of them?
Q: I saw a bunch of movies about Zombies. Do those have any bearing on reality?
A: Simple answer: Yes.
Q: What should I do if a family member becomes a Zombie?
A: Once a person becomes a zombie, you must no longer consider them a family member. The zombified family member will need to be isolated by a certified professional for screening. If you have difficulty accepting their current turning, or are unsure of how to handle the situation, please contact the Zombie Protection Agency (ZPA).
Q: AHHH!! There are a ton of Zombies outside of my place!! What do I do?!?!
A: Unless you invited them over for a party, we suggest boarding up all windows, doors, turning off all sound-making devices, and heading up to the highest interior point of your house. We recommend avoiding basements, rooftops (we heard they learned how to climb), or vehicles. Also, please notify the ZPA immediately.
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
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